I AM TRIPOLAR
BY ALLE GONZALEZ
“I Am Not Bipolar.
I AM TRIPOLAR”
A Journey Of Self-Discovery And Self-Acceptance
Both MEN and WOMEN suffer from the stigma of
bipolarity. More and more, we get to know people who are diagnosed with bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety, and panic attacks.
Some of us have been diagnosed, and we have received medical care. So many have not been diagnosed and go through life thinking they are not worthy, they are not strong, that something is not okay with them, and they cannot understand what it is. Hundreds of people of all ages suffer in silence, not understanding themselves.
I AM DETERMINED TO BEAT THE STIGMA OF BIPOLARITY.
My book is not a book of tragedy, it is a book of reflection. I hope that through my experiences and through my understanding of this diagnosis and its implications, many families, partners, and patients can learn to live in peace with someone who is bipolar or bipolar.
“CALLING OURSELVES BIPOLAR IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT. It is a limiting belief and does not honor the fantastic human beings that we are. We are more than the two moods between which our emotions fluctuate.”
Best Selling Author
Alle Gonzalez
Alle’s vision as a bipolar patient helps clarify many of the myths and the stigmas surrounding this diagnosis. Using what she calls her TRIPOLAR gift, she presents to all of us a journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance.
Her inquisitive mind leads her on a journey to learn about mental health, especially being bipolar, and what the diagnosis entails. Her insights helped her to understand the effects the diagnosis had on her as a patient, in her relationships with family, colleagues, and friends, and to reflect on which strategies she could use to minimize the effects.
She shares some strategies that helped her to create awareness and manage bipolar swings and how she overcame the fear of using medication. These strategies have helped her to become productive and keep up with a life worth living.
Learning to validate her own condition, she looks at being bipolar as a gift she needs to unravel. In her journey, she answered many questions that helped her understand that being bipolar is manageable and one can be functional.
THIS IS MY STORY
I was diagnosed as a Bipolar II patient in July 2005 after I suffered a manic episode that landed me in the psychiatric ward of the Oakville Trafalgar Hospital. My life was never the same after that experience. It was hurtful and I did not understand what happened. I was not myself. Many years went by before I could talk about it and come to terms with my own experience. I needed time to understand the consequences of the bipolar II diagnoses on my life.
The hardest thing about bipolar condition is that those who live with you cannot help you. They are too close, too emotionally involved and they cannot handle being with you when you are in this state. When I was having clinical depression, I could not wake up and get up from my bed, people asked me to rely on my willpower and I tried to look for help. This did not work, I had to deal with it on my own.
Once I could get myself out of bed, I could move on to doing things. Yes, once I got out of bed, I was able to cook, clean, wash, drive, and work. It was the night that ate me up. It was difficult for my family to see where I was, and I understood that was the reason why they could not help me.
I felt like I had a ticking bomb inside my head. I could not wait for the unconscious part of my brain to stop. The thoughts that took over my being during the night made me wake up exhausted and unable to stand up. I feared for the day that my frontal cortex would be beaten. The moment when my subconscious would overpower my reasoning and my will and I would end up doing things that I did not believe in. I understood, at that moment, where the self-harming and sadly, suicidal thoughts abide and where they would sink into a bipolar mind. I understood what could happen to me if I did not do something about it.
Other Books
NOT an ECE
A principle-based guide to become your child’s best Childhood Educator.
UP COMING
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NOT an ECE
The principle-based guide to become your child’s best Childhood Educator.
Like you I was thrown into parenting without any instructions. No directions, not even clear expectations. Since I became a parent, I loved every second of it. Days and nights passed by.
Many joys and many struggles. Always living in the uncertainty. Life just started to happen without even noticing the adventures that unraveled when I became a mom.
Being a parent is probably the most rewarding experience I’ve had. Also, the scariest task to take on in life, the most challenging endeavor but at the same time the greatest learning experience of all.
Discover together the magic of understanding your child’s behaviour when you take the time to look deeper, to look forward.
I am Tripolar
Both MEN and WOMEN suffer from the stigma of bipolarity.
Typewriter
A compilation of short stories written by hand.
UP COMING
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TYPEWRITER
A compilation of short stories written by hand.
Amidst this worldwide coronavirus crisis, many of us, in our own way have come together, in our own special way.
As we can’t get together physically with family, loved ones, in the ways that we used to do, visits, hugging, just enjoying one another’s company, we have been forced to change.
To change means each of us has had to discover in our own personal way the meaning behind this struggle.
No one can predict what is to come. In my personal journey, I found myself. I found a part of me that had been buried somewhere I didn’t know.
Maybe buried inside of me. Maybe buried so far away from me that only a catastrophe of this magnitude could reveal it. I don’t want to go back. I fear life will take over again and that treasure I found will somehow get lost again. Life is like that.
We walk, we trip, we thirst, we see an oasis and we land there. We feel comfortable for a bit only to realize that was just a place of rest amongst the way. A moment of time to enjoy before it flies away.
This awareness of space, time and story is something I experience only when I write. My dream of writing is a reality in this moment of time, and it is not an outlet. An outlet to pain, anger or frustration. It is a gift.
An opportunity to live for the first time my life aware of the present moment. Every word I write is now in the past.
The blank space that follows will only be in the future for a bit and will only be there as long as I can do what I am doing right now. I am letting my eyes, my heart and my mind work in perfect harmony.
I write what I think, but I don’t know what it is. I see what I write and that surprises me because I can’t explain where it is coming from.
This process of writing is honestly an insane gift. Hope the writing of these short stories inspire you the reader, helps you as the PROTAGONISTA – THE MAIN CHARACTER of your own story and leads your life, in some way, to explore the amazing power of the written word. That is the greatest gift of all times, we can learn from each other. A gift brought to us by the typewriter.